This blog has been through a lot in the past year or so. I originally set it up to showcase my handmade jewelry that I wanted to post on etsy. That fell through when I started selling Premier Designs. Then I started it up again to be kind of an outlet for my thoughts. I think I'm going to keep it as a weight loss blog.
Since March 10th, I've lost 13 lbs. To me, that's great! It's a steady loss, and I'm not doing anything drastic. I've been trying to eat out less, I've kicked my daily Starbucks habit, and I'm drinking more water everyday. I've also been walking a lot, and I just finished my first week of The Biggest Loser 30-Day Jump Start DVD workout. I've been feeling a lot better, and I've lost almost 4 inches around my middle! I'll post progress pictures after week 4 of the workout. So far, the results are great!
Tomorrow, I have to wake up early to fit in my 20 minute workout. I have no clue how I'm going to adjust my schedule for the 4th week's 40 minute workouts! BUT, the mantra for my challenge this month is "NO excuses!"
I think it's getting easier, now that I have a measurable goal. 100 pounds to lose in a year isn't impossible. I just can't imagine what it would seem like when I actually get there. I still can't even wrap my head around the idea of being a single-digit clothing size. I went from wearing a Girls size 12 in 5th grade to a Misses 10 in 6th grade. I'm off to a great start!
After I lost my first ten, Stephen bought me two small glass bowls, and a bag of glass nuggets to measure my losses. In one bowl, he has 12 nuggets for the pounds I need to lose, and in the other bowl, he has 13 nuggets for ever pound I've lost! I'll post pictures of that on the next post. It's really adorable. And I'm super fortunate to have someone so supportive of such a huge change. Hopefully I'll empty my "Pounds to Lose" bowl into my "Pounds DESTROYED" bowl by the end of the 30 day fitness challenge!
I'll keep you posted! Only 87 more pounds to go!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Emily and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day
At least, that's what it felt like all day.
And I mean. ALL DAY.
Of course, until I got the news that my cousin, Shannon, had a baby (more on that in another post).
So back to my day of bad. Not even a Lindt chocolate bunny could help it (thanks Easter Bunny). I won't go into too much detail, but I've been feeling like that scene from Homeward Bound where Shadow gets stuck in the mud pit. The thing that sucks is, I don't feel like I have much of a Chance to talk me into pulling myself out. That is, until I get home and into Stephen's arms.
So for the rest of the night, I'm not going to bother with it. I'm going to wash my hands of it and move on. I'm going to hold close to the man of my dreams tonight, and let my purring kitty cat keep my mind off everything. Sleep makes everything better, and tomorrow will be a better day.
I have faith that my life will change for the better soon. I just have to keep on climbing that muddy hill.
And I mean. ALL DAY.
Of course, until I got the news that my cousin, Shannon, had a baby (more on that in another post).
So back to my day of bad. Not even a Lindt chocolate bunny could help it (thanks Easter Bunny). I won't go into too much detail, but I've been feeling like that scene from Homeward Bound where Shadow gets stuck in the mud pit. The thing that sucks is, I don't feel like I have much of a Chance to talk me into pulling myself out. That is, until I get home and into Stephen's arms.
So for the rest of the night, I'm not going to bother with it. I'm going to wash my hands of it and move on. I'm going to hold close to the man of my dreams tonight, and let my purring kitty cat keep my mind off everything. Sleep makes everything better, and tomorrow will be a better day.
I have faith that my life will change for the better soon. I just have to keep on climbing that muddy hill.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
The First Ten
Not many people make it a goal to lose 100 lbs. At least, with the people I know.
And here's where I get really candid. My heaviest was 244. That number was 44 lbs more than what I weighed 4 years ago. I have yo-yo'ed with my weight since before middle school. I've had a hard time being one of the biggest girls in my classes. I fell like I never really fit in. I had a tough relationship with my mother, so I ate to cover up my feelings. I didn't recognize emotional eating until my senior year of high school.
I went to college, and gained, of course, the freshman 15. And then some the sophomore year. Junior year, I had everything all together. I ate salads every day, and I worked out in the gym almost every day. I often went in there the same time the basketball/softball/volleyball players worked out. So I had to challenge myself. I was doing really well, then I got the flu. That darn flu changed my life. More on that later... But after the flu, I was in Onederland. Anyone struggling with weight knows that Onederland is in the 100s. The lightest I've weighed since before I can remember was 198.
Then my schedule got crazy. I moved back home, went to a different school, and ate out. A lot. Before I knew it, I was up to my highest weight. That's when I decided to take some action. I started getting healthier foods. I asked for a gym membership for Christmas (more on that later). I started taking salads for lunches every day.
And now I'm here today 10 lbs lighter. That's not a huge accomplishment. But it's 10 lbs closer to my goal. Only 90 more. I'll try posting pictures once I can start seeing differences. But I'll have a new weight loss post every 10 lbs.
Here are my stats:
Height: 5'6"
SW: 244
CW: 233.8
STG1: 219
STG2: 194
STG3: 169
Long Term Goal: 144
And here's where I get really candid. My heaviest was 244. That number was 44 lbs more than what I weighed 4 years ago. I have yo-yo'ed with my weight since before middle school. I've had a hard time being one of the biggest girls in my classes. I fell like I never really fit in. I had a tough relationship with my mother, so I ate to cover up my feelings. I didn't recognize emotional eating until my senior year of high school.
I went to college, and gained, of course, the freshman 15. And then some the sophomore year. Junior year, I had everything all together. I ate salads every day, and I worked out in the gym almost every day. I often went in there the same time the basketball/softball/volleyball players worked out. So I had to challenge myself. I was doing really well, then I got the flu. That darn flu changed my life. More on that later... But after the flu, I was in Onederland. Anyone struggling with weight knows that Onederland is in the 100s. The lightest I've weighed since before I can remember was 198.
Then my schedule got crazy. I moved back home, went to a different school, and ate out. A lot. Before I knew it, I was up to my highest weight. That's when I decided to take some action. I started getting healthier foods. I asked for a gym membership for Christmas (more on that later). I started taking salads for lunches every day.
And now I'm here today 10 lbs lighter. That's not a huge accomplishment. But it's 10 lbs closer to my goal. Only 90 more. I'll try posting pictures once I can start seeing differences. But I'll have a new weight loss post every 10 lbs.
Here are my stats:
Height: 5'6"
SW: 244
CW: 233.8
STG1: 219
STG2: 194
STG3: 169
Long Term Goal: 144
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Day 9260
I figured my fourth first blog post shouldn't be "Day 1". I don't have a lot of luck with "Day 1s". Usually by "Day 9" I'm over it. Except today. Today, I have been alive for 9260 days.
I have been in love with the man of my dreams for a total of 1152 days.
I have been employed at a pretty rad company for 407 days.
I have been an author of a successful blog for 5 minutes (not counting the blog as it was established previously under the same name).
When I think about it in terms of days, it seems like I've accomplished so much. But some of those days were wasted on anticipation. Always waiting, always wanting. I remember being 9 years, 11 months, and 29 days old, just waiting to turn 10. Or better still, turning 11. My birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year for the first time since I was born.
I remember graduating high school, only to anticipate flying to Hawaii with my school choir a month later. Only to return and immediately start packing to leave for college three months after that.
I'm now waiting once again. But this time, I'm waiting for life to slow down. I'm waiting for success. I'm waiting for my dreams to come true, to be taken seriously, to find the right time.
But what is the right time? What exactly am I waiting for?
I spend too much time in the present thinking about the future and the past simultaneously. I spend the last few suspended seconds before sleep thinking about the "what ifs" and "why not MEs". The purpose of this is to serve as an exercise in helping me stay present. On some occasions, it will serve as my escape. On others, it will be my goal-setting tool. The only thing I ask in return is motivation or positive thoughts.
I fail at a lot of things. Not necessarily fail. I don't accomplish tasks. I constantly start things but never finish them. Sometimes I think I just set myself up for failure before I even begin. I expect to fail. I didn't finish college. I didn't finish massage school. I have a pile of unfinished knitted things in my wardrobe. I track my calories for exactly as long as it takes to consume all healthy foods, then out of shame or guilt, I quit. I quit going to the gym because I refuse to lose that extra half hour of sleep because that means I'll be sluggish and grumpy the rest of the day. I've stopped posting about my jewelry business on facebook because a coworker told me that I'm a "pusher". And now I'm contemplating excuses to not make my business work for me. I don't even finish folding my clean laundry because I'll just end up wearing it at some point in the week. Even as I type this, I'm putting off what I really COULD be doing - which is making dinner.
I start tasks, then I start coming up with the best excuses to not finish these tasks. Someone very wise told me through facebook, that you can either have results or excuses. And excuses don't create success. And she's right. I have to find ways to make things work for me. Even if I do get upset that I still don't have my schedule for the rest of April... or if I don't have enough hours away from work and school to accomplish something (which is exactly 10 hours, 8 of which are used for sleeping)... or if I don't have enough money...
You know how it goes.
So although I'm spending my 9260th day on Earth contemplating what I should be doing all the rest of my days on Earth, I'm using it to escape from my crazy reality of waking up, getting ready, traveling to school, walking two blocks to the bus stop, hoping the bus is on time, walking another block to work from the bus stop, occupying my time there with small duties for the day until it is time to close, traveling the half hour it takes to get home, cuddling with the love of my life, and drifting off to sleep only to repeat the same thing 8 hours later. Occasionally, I get an afternoon off. But in 53 days, I will have a bit more freedom.
But until then, I'm just waiting.
I have been in love with the man of my dreams for a total of 1152 days.
I have been employed at a pretty rad company for 407 days.
I have been an author of a successful blog for 5 minutes (not counting the blog as it was established previously under the same name).
When I think about it in terms of days, it seems like I've accomplished so much. But some of those days were wasted on anticipation. Always waiting, always wanting. I remember being 9 years, 11 months, and 29 days old, just waiting to turn 10. Or better still, turning 11. My birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year for the first time since I was born.
I remember graduating high school, only to anticipate flying to Hawaii with my school choir a month later. Only to return and immediately start packing to leave for college three months after that.
I'm now waiting once again. But this time, I'm waiting for life to slow down. I'm waiting for success. I'm waiting for my dreams to come true, to be taken seriously, to find the right time.
But what is the right time? What exactly am I waiting for?
I spend too much time in the present thinking about the future and the past simultaneously. I spend the last few suspended seconds before sleep thinking about the "what ifs" and "why not MEs". The purpose of this is to serve as an exercise in helping me stay present. On some occasions, it will serve as my escape. On others, it will be my goal-setting tool. The only thing I ask in return is motivation or positive thoughts.
I fail at a lot of things. Not necessarily fail. I don't accomplish tasks. I constantly start things but never finish them. Sometimes I think I just set myself up for failure before I even begin. I expect to fail. I didn't finish college. I didn't finish massage school. I have a pile of unfinished knitted things in my wardrobe. I track my calories for exactly as long as it takes to consume all healthy foods, then out of shame or guilt, I quit. I quit going to the gym because I refuse to lose that extra half hour of sleep because that means I'll be sluggish and grumpy the rest of the day. I've stopped posting about my jewelry business on facebook because a coworker told me that I'm a "pusher". And now I'm contemplating excuses to not make my business work for me. I don't even finish folding my clean laundry because I'll just end up wearing it at some point in the week. Even as I type this, I'm putting off what I really COULD be doing - which is making dinner.
I start tasks, then I start coming up with the best excuses to not finish these tasks. Someone very wise told me through facebook, that you can either have results or excuses. And excuses don't create success. And she's right. I have to find ways to make things work for me. Even if I do get upset that I still don't have my schedule for the rest of April... or if I don't have enough hours away from work and school to accomplish something (which is exactly 10 hours, 8 of which are used for sleeping)... or if I don't have enough money...
You know how it goes.
So although I'm spending my 9260th day on Earth contemplating what I should be doing all the rest of my days on Earth, I'm using it to escape from my crazy reality of waking up, getting ready, traveling to school, walking two blocks to the bus stop, hoping the bus is on time, walking another block to work from the bus stop, occupying my time there with small duties for the day until it is time to close, traveling the half hour it takes to get home, cuddling with the love of my life, and drifting off to sleep only to repeat the same thing 8 hours later. Occasionally, I get an afternoon off. But in 53 days, I will have a bit more freedom.
But until then, I'm just waiting.
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